Tyler Murdock
Pay-at-Close Marketing Partner | M&A Deal Generation for Brokers and Private Equity
February 29, 2024

The first sentence of your cold email is the bait on your hook. It can either reel in your reader or let them get away. In the high-stakes world of mergers and acquisitions, where inboxes are flooded and attention spans are short, the power of an impactful opening line cannot be underestimated. This single sentence sets the tone, establishes intent, and decides whether the rest of your message will even get a glance.

Here’s how to make sure your emails not only get opened but devoured from the first line.

1. Be Clear and Direct

Forget the fluff. Your opening line should be straightforward, leaving no room for ambiguity about what you're offering or discussing. M&A professionals value efficiency and clarity—demonstrating both from the outset can establish trust and pique interest.

Example:
“Are you looking to streamline your next acquisition process?”

2. Personalize Where Possible

A touch of personalization shows you've done your homework. Mentioning the recipient's name, recent achievements, or specific interests can make your opening line resonate more deeply. Personalization creates an immediate connection, making your email feel more like a conversation than a cold pitch.

Example:
“Congratulations on your recent expansion into the tech sector—are you prepared for the next growth phase?”

3. Start With a Question

Questions provoke thought and engagement. Starting with a relevant question can pique curiosity and encourage the reader to seek answers in your email. In the context of M&A, where every decision is critical, a well-placed question can highlight a pain point or opportunity that demands attention.

Example:
“What if you could reduce the time to close your next deal by 30%?”

4. Lead With a Fascinating Fact or Statistic

Numbers have the power to surprise and engage. A compelling statistic related to your message's core value can hook readers by highlighting the significance of what you're sharing. In M&A, where data drives decisions, a striking fact can underscore the importance of your offer.

Example:
“Did you know that 65% of M&A deals fail due to misaligned expectations? Here’s how to avoid that pitfall.”

5. Offer a Solution

If your email addresses a common problem or pain point, make that solution your opening gambit. Let the reader know immediately how you can make their life easier. M&A professionals are constantly seeking solutions to complex challenges—offering one upfront can be a powerful lure.

Example:
“Tired of deals falling apart at the last minute? Our process ensures smooth transactions from start to finish.”

6. Use Active Voice

Active voice is more direct and engaging than passive voice. It makes your writing clearer and gives your first sentence more impact. In the fast-paced M&A environment, an active voice can convey confidence and command attention.

Example:
“We’ve helped 50+ firms increase their deal success rate by 40%—let’s do the same for you.”

7. Keep It Short

Brevity is key. A concise first sentence is more likely to be read and understood quickly, making a strong impression right from the start. M&A consultants and brokers appreciate direct communication—short and punchy sentences are often the most effective.

Example:
“Need a faster path to closing? Here’s how we can help.”

The Litmus Test

After crafting your opening line, put it through this simple test: Does it stand well on its own? If your email was reduced to just its first sentence, would it still convey something valuable? If the answer is yes, you've likely got a hook that will reel readers in.

In Practice

Let’s see an example in action:

Before:
“I'm writing to you today to discuss how we can potentially help your business grow.”

After:
“How does saving 20% on your operational costs this quarter sound?”

The revised opening line is direct, poses a question, and promises clear value—a trifecta of engagement.

Your email's opening sentence is your first and sometimes only chance to capture attention. By honing the art of the irresistible first sentence, you ensure your message not only lands but also leaves a lasting impression.

Struggling to get your emails noticed? Let's change that. I specialize in crafting opening lines that grab attention and don't let go.